The holidays can be especially difficult times for those of us who have lost loved ones. Beneath the festivities that we experience, there can often be a lingering sadness as we think about the people who are no longer there to share the holiday experiences with us. Our thoughts replay those happy scenes of our brother tearing open the wrapping paper on Christmas morning, his smile of pure joy at the gift he discovered there reminding us of the wonder of the season. Or we remember our mother’s worn out smile as she placed the last steaming dish on the table already filled with food; the aroma of the turkey blending with the atmosphere of the meal and making us feel safe and a part of something special. Or we see our father’s face as he pretends to like the Santa Clause covered tie that we brought him; knowing that even if he hated it, he would wear it at least once to show us his appreciation. And now, they are gone. And it’s okay to mourn their loss and to be sad about their passing. Nature teaches us that life and death are intertwined. Flowers bloom and then fade. Leaves form and then fall off. All of life is tinged with the shadow of death. The key, therefore, is not to ignore our sorrows, but rather to embrace them. It sounds like a strange message to begin the New Year with, but the truth is its okay to miss our loved ones who have passed on before us. Not only is it okay, but it is healthy to do so.

As we are honor the memories of those who have passed away, let’s not forget the importance of spending time with those who are still here. Let us resolve this year to spend more time, either in-person, on the phone, via email or texting, with the people that are important to us. Today is all we have, because tomorrow is not guaranteed to any of us. Therefore, let’s spend our todays remembering those who have passed on while enjoying the company of those who remain.

What do you think?

Coach Paul
www.lifechangingcoaching.com

“And if your home is just another place where you’re a stranger, and far away is just somewhere you’ve never been. I hope that you’ll remember, I am your friend.” – Rich Mullins

Is your job just a job, work that pays the bills? Or do you work for the sheer love of what you do? The relationship you have with your job likely falls somewhere on the continuum between working for love and working for money. Many of my clients initially come to life coaching with the desire to pursue their passion (and break free from their “just to pay the bills” profession). Ultimately, the decision to give up a lucrative career (that you may not love) in order to pursue a passion for the love of it (even if the financial rewards are not as great) comes down to the tension among the three legs of what I call the life triangle: time, money and passion. (Consider it a personal take on the quality triangle in business: quality, speed and money.) When considering whether to work for love or money, your decision is going to come down to a question of which of these three points, at the time you are deciding, matter the most? Your answer may surprise you if you follow the three strategies below that I recommend for discovering whether you want to turn your passion into your profession.

Strategy 1. Take time to talk to people who are pursuing the avocation as full-time professionals. Before you make any career move, you need to see what your dream is really like. A lot of our ideas – particularly when we’re frustrated at work – can become hyperinflated and quickly move from reality to fantasy. For example, a client of mine, an accountant, came to me for life coaching because he believed he wanted to give up his career and pursue his passion for playing classical violin. His accounting practice was successful, but he found the work boring and unsatisfying. As a kid, he played in a orchestra and loved it. He was considering returning to that passion and making it a full-time profession. I suggested he follow this first strategy – talking to others in the field – and the conversations he had completely changed his outlook. He found out that professional classical musicians work harder than he did – for less compensation. Although the accountant decided not to change his job, he began to see his work in a new, more positive light. He decided the best thing for him was to create more space in his life to play violin as an outside pursuit. You may or may not be thwarted by what others have to say about pursuing your avocation full-time, but they will, at the very least, help ground your dream in reality.

Strategy 2. Start pursuing your passion on a part-time basis, either paid or unpaid. For those passions that can one day become paying vocations, experimenting on part-time and for pay can help you understand the real level of income you can expect. The idea is to get your hands dirty – without burying yourself from the start. This strategy is particularly important if you are considering pursuing a passion in the “service” industry such as writing or consulting. Even doing the work part-time, you will get a sense of how challenging it can be to get clients. You’ll discover pretty quickly whether you’re ready to take on that challenge – or not.

Strategy 3. Say to yourself, “I’m not going to think about this for three months.” This recommendation often elicits raised eyebrows quizzical looks from my clients. But this strategy may be the most important, because it will ensure that you don’t make a rash decision colored by your current frustrations. After three months you will know if this move is still something you want to do. You’ll know if the current frustrations in your life have corrected themselves. Bottom line, you don’t want to make an emotional or temporal decision. Don’t jump ship before you’ve had the chance to internally right yourself.

With these three strategies you can ground your dream in reality and ensure that you are making the best decision for yourself, your career and your future. Then you’ll be able to make the leap into pursuing your passion full time, fearlessly… or stay put in your current career, contentedly.

What do you think?

Coach Paul
www.lifechangingcoaching.com

“And if your home is just another place where you’re a stranger, and far away is just somewhere you’ve never been. I hope that you’ll remember, I am your friend.” – Rich Mullins

It may not always seem so in our do-it-yourself American culture, but asking for help is one of the most courageous steps you can take toward achieving your life goals. Bookstore shelves these days are packed with self-help manuscripts that promise to deliver you a better body, a better love life, a better career – and they promise that you can do these things all by yourself. But as popular as the self-help industry has become, self-help alone won’t bring real, lasting change to your life. To move forward, you need to bring others into the fold. You need to ask for help from your belongings – especially those who you call your fans – as you plan your path forward and work through the challenges that lie ahead.

Asking for help isn’t easy for everyone. How comfortable you are with requesting help may depend on the culture of the community and family in which you grew up, your current network of belongings as well as your past experiences. If you are clear about when to ask for support from your belongings, and you are comfortable doing so, good work: You have already mastered one of the keys to moving forward in life. However, if you aren’t sure when to ask for help, and you feel uncomfortable reaching out to others, I recommend making this an area of focus this month, particularly as you examine your work life.

The help you request can come in many forms, such as physical, emotional or professional support, for instance. Let’s take a closer look at each of these.

Physical support. This may be the easiest type of help to ask for. Asking for physical support can mean asking someone to help you move from one apartment to another, requesting a ride to the airport or asking a friend to house-sit while you’re away. It can also take a more serious tone, for example asking someone to spend a day or two with you after surgery. In all these cases, asking for physical support from family, friends or others who you count among your belongings can make your path forward a little smoother.

Emotional support. No matter how together we may appear on the outside, all of us need emotional support now and again. When life drops stones in your path – or boulders, as it were – it’s important to seek support from belongings who can offer support as you work your way past the obstacles. Asking for emotional support during challenging times can prevent you from growing frustrated or disillusioned with the challenges you face, keeping your mind clear and open to solutions.

Professional support. When it comes to moving forward in the professional domain, there is something of truth to the old adage “it’s who you know.” The more you develop your network, the more opportunities you will bring into your professional life. Your professional connections can be incredibly instrumental in help you achieve your career goals – but only if you ask for their help. Examples of professional support include professional recommendations, career advice or a mentoring opportunity.

There are many more ways to ask for help from your belongings, of course; these are just a few examples. The main thing is to recognize when reaching out to others can make all the difference – and not to hesitate to request support. Asking for help is a sign of trust in a relationship, and your true fans will appreciate your confidence in them. So work on asking for help and accepting help when others offer it. Remember, you can do the same for them.

What do you think?

Coach Paul
www.lifechangingcoaching.com

“And if your home is just another place where you’re a stranger, and far away is just somewhere you’ve never been. I hope that you’ll remember, I am your friend.” – Rich Mullins