Dear Coach Paul:

I can’t help but feeling depressed about the way things are right now. I will be graduating from business school in a few months and there don’t seem to be any more jobs out there. I’ve spent all this time and money preparing for a future that is no longer bright. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed so that I don’t have to wake up and think about it. Do you have anything you can tell me that would make me feel better?

Claremont Grad Student

Dear Claremont Grad Student:

I’m sure that you’ve learned about expectation theory in graduate school. As a reminder, this theory states that the world (people, relationships, etc.) usually turns out the way that you expect it to be. Not because that’s the way things are, but because that’s your perception of the way things are. So the first thing that I would tell you is to expect better things for yourself. I know of several good companies that are growing and looking to hire talented people even during these tough economic times. Don’t get sucked into the doom and gloom that is being peddled by the mass media – it’s their job to paint extreme pictures. Instead, expect that when you graduate, there will be several employers out there looking for the value that you can bring to their organizations. And then keep looking for them until you find them. When I am interviewing people for a job, I can spot the pessimists from miles away. Before they open their mouths they have told me that they don’t expect to get hired – and I have always obliged them. The fact that you reached out and asked for help tells me that you have a good head on your shoulders. So use that head to finish your graduate program strongly and get started now in networking and looking for your new job. I wish you much success!

Warm Regards,

Coach Paul
www.lifechangingcoaching.com

“And if your home is just another place where you’re a stranger, and far away is just somewhere you’ve never been. I hope that you’ll remember, I am your friend.” – Rich Mullins

Dear Coach Paul:

My teenage son is shy and doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends. His father and I want him to spend more time out of the house, but he doesn’t seem all that interested in social activities. What should we do? We don’t want to damage his self-esteem, but we also want him to develop social skills.

Dana Point Mom

Dear Dana Point Mom:

It’s very likely that your son has a preference for introversion. If that’s the case, then he is probably getting more than enough social interaction at school, which drains him. So when he comes home, he needs the solitude to recharge his batteries. As long as he is not being anti-social (spending all of his time in his room, avoid contact with everyone, including family members), not having a lot of friends is okay. As he gets older, he will find one or two close friends with whom he will begin to establish deep and meaningful relationships. I commend you for not wanting to push him into becoming something that he isn’t, while also looking out for his long-term welfare. You sound like wonderful parents – keep up the great work!

Warm Regards,

Coach Paul
www.lifechangingcoaching.com

“And if your home is just another place where you’re a stranger, and far away is just somewhere you’ve never been. I hope that you’ll remember, I am your friend.” – Rich Mullins

Dear Coach Paul:

I am a 27 year old college graduate with a degree in finance. Like a lot of people, I was recently laid off from my current job at the bank that I had worked at since graduating from college five years ago. I am thinking about going back to school to get a MBA. Do you think this is a good choice or should I be trying to find a job in this economy?

San Francisco Banker

Dear San Francisco Banker:

The simple answer is that you should do whatever fits into your life vision. Are you considering going back to school because that is something you really want to do? Or, are you using school as an excuse to not look for a job? If earning a MBA is a part of your life plan, then maybe being laid off is the silver lining in your dark cloud. My advice to you is to spend some time talking to your fan club about your options and be deliberate about your choices. I think either choice is a good one.

Warm Regards,

Coach Paul
www.lifechangingcoaching.com

“And if your home is just another place where you’re a stranger, and far away is just somewhere you’ve never been. I hope that you’ll remember, I am your friend.” – Rich Mullins